Wednesday, March 13, 2019

My 7-Year-Old is a Sh*tty Babysitter

Things I Probably Should Have Known Already: Chapter 2
My 7-Year-Old is a Sh*tty Babysitter

Okay, calm down.  Before you call CPS, I didn't actually leave the house and put my daughter in charge of her 2-year-old brother.  What I *tried* to do was go to the bathroom in peace. I knew I was going to need more than a couple minutes to get things "accomplished" - so I asked my daughter to please watch her brother while I was in there.

Seems like a simple enough request, which of course, meant she had several follow-up questions.

"What do I HAVE to do?"
"How long are you going to be? Like hours and hours?"
"Ugh, really?  Can't he just watch TV?"

Even though my daughter's response didn't exactly inspire confidence, my husband was at work and she was my only option.

So I'm in the bathroom, doing my "thing"... and it's surprisingly quiet.  No crying or shouting. No thuds of toys being thrown against the closed bathroom door.  Looking back, this probably should have been my first clue that something was up.

I finish up, and head back toward the living room.  The first thing I spot is that there are about 30 packets of fruit snacks on the kitchen floor.  Kind of annoying, but manageable.  The next thing I see is that one of our big "toy storage tubs" (which is currently the only decorating theme in my house) has been dumped all over the living room.  Eh.  Pretty typical.

The next, really ODD thing I notice, is that there are little tiny rocks all over the armchair.

"Kate?  What are these tiny rocks?" I ask, thinking maybe my son shook them off someone's shoes, or squeezed one of those squishy toys until it exploded.

"Oh, that's cat litter."


"It's okay, Mom.  I *watched* him like you said.  He didn't pick up any of the poop... I don't think."

Oh. Em. Gee.  So, yeah.  My daughter probably isn't going to be advertising her babysitting services in the future.  Private detective, maybe. Or perhaps she'd be a good documentary filmmaker. Don't they follow the "observe but don't interfere" motto?

No matter what ends up being her future profession, I probably should have known that I needed to elaborate on what "watch your brother" actually means.

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